Menopause & perimenopause

How can I help her?
10 ways to support your partner in menopause

(You can print this out and give it to your partner.)

1. Be conscious of the emotional and physical changes she’s going through because of menopause.
2. Talk to her about what she’s experiencing — do a lot of listening, and resist the impulse to “fix” things. Instead ask questions like, “What causes that?”, “How often do you feel that way?”, and “What can I do for you?”
3. Ask for less. She is under a lot more stress (physical and emotional) right now because of menopause, and even asking for small favors can make her feel heavily burdened.
4. Be patient and understanding with intercourse. She may need more time, or may not be interested in intercourse at all for a while. Talk about other ways to enjoy sex together, and make her feel sexy and desired in other ways.
5. Help her comply with dietary changes — she may feel sensitive about her appearance, and may be trying to eat healthier for good hormonal balance and overall health. It’s not nice to eat foods she’s trying to avoid in front of her. The same thing goes for smoking: if she’s trying to quit to improve her health, it’s to your own advantage to help her by not smoking in front of her — or, quit with her!
6. Help her with her hormonal supplements or medications. She may be trying a few different strategies for finding hormonal balance, anything from dietary changes to complete hormonal replacement therapy (HRT). Learning about the various strategies for getting through menopause will help her know you care about her well-being.
7. Encourage instead of criticize. No one likes to be told what to do, or that what they’re doing is wrong. Women in menopause can often already feel scrutinized, and your partner's self-esteem might be much lower than before.
8. Encourage follow-up visits with her healthcare practitioner, who can give her additional help and support for menopausal symptoms, and even offer to go with her.
9. Actions speak louder than words. Doing any household chores without her asking you to, for example, is one of the best ways to show your partner you’re supporting her without saying a single word.
10. Set an example for healthy behaviors. Take the initiative to go for a walk or bike ride, and buy healthy food that you can prepare together.

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