Menopause & perimenopause

Will I ever enjoy sex again?

Rest assured, you certainly can enjoy sex again! It just takes some readjusting to the new you. Women entering menopause are dealing with demands from all angles. They may be working a full-time job, caring for elderly parents or grandchildren, re-opening their doors to grown children coming into financial or personal hardship, struggling with hot flashes, sleepless nights, moodiness — the list is endless, and all of these pressures put weight on a woman’s libido.

As we know, sex is complicated. It’s much more than simply physical interaction. Much of the enjoyment from sex stems from the way we think, not necessarily the way we release hormones. Yes, as hormone levels decline, it is normal for women notice a decreased libido and more vaginal dryness. Some of this has to do with imbalanced hormones, while some of it has to do with the emotional issues. Start by giving your body the nutrients, exercise, and hormonal balance it needs to transition through menopause and beyond. And then you will be better equipped to deal with the emotional aspect of sex.

One of the biggest hurdles for women to get over is the myth that once menopause hits, we can no longer be sexual beings. For many of us, our sexual identities are based on how attractive we feel. Take the time to reflect on what used to make you feel more sensual in the past, when sex was more enticing. What perfume did you wear? How did you wear your hair? What music did you listen to? Recreating those sensory stimuli now can trigger the sexual part of your brain to come alive again despite stress, fluctuating hormones, and changes in body image. The answers are different for everyone, but we do know that when a woman starts to feel attractive, her desire can make an amazing comeback.

It will take some time and energy to start rebuilding your libido again, and in the interim there are some short-term solutions that might help. One concern we hear about most often is vaginal dryness. We recommend vitamin E vaginal suppositories to increase vaginal moisture. You might also talk with your healthcare practitioner about a prescription for bioidentical estrogen options, such as estradiol vaginal cream, vaginal pellet inserts or a vaginal estrogen ring. Other options include herbs to enhance libido and possibly androgen therapy using prescription testosterone or DHEA. Remember that these are short-term solutions that can help while you address the larger emotional, nutritional, and hormonal imbalances.

Understand that you have the physiology to enjoy great sex well into old age. Your sex drive correlates with how healthy your body is. And if you take care of yourself nutritionally, hormonally and emotionally, there is no reason why your sex life shouldn't get even better during and past menopause.

If you’d like more information on changes in sexuality, read our other articles in our sexuality and fertility section. And for more information on vaginal changes, see our full article.

Return to:

• Menopause FAQ’s
• An intro to menopause and perimenopause

 

Original Publication Date: 02/23/2007
Last Modified: 02/16/2010
Principal Author: Marcy Holmes, NP, Certified Menopause Clinician