Health advocate - find one, be one

I took my mother to her primary care doctor a few years ago and was happy I’d tagged along. Not only was the doctor talking mostly to his computer screen — he barely looked at us and my mother doesn’t hear well so it’s important that she sees your lips moving—but I had to ask for him to listen to her lungs. After all, she was there for a heart problem and it doesn’t take a medical student (or breast surgeon as the case may be!) to know that the lungs, as our oxygenators, are highly connected to heart function.

This visit got me thinking about health advocates. It’s kind of a fancy name for a friend or family member you feel very comfortable with, who comes to your practitioner appointments with you. Of course, as our parents get older, it’s so important for someone to be with them when they visit their doctors, but even younger women can benefit from a health advocate. Someone close to them being there when they relay or receive information about their health can be crucial for emotional and factual support. For those who don’t have a friend or family member to help, you might investigate your local hospital’s department of health advocacy. Having a health advocate doesn’t make you weak or weird or anything at all — it just helps to have two sets of ears, a note taker, a question asker, or a partner to mull things over with.

If you can, offer your own support to a friend or family member. It’s particularly important when and if you are going through something that brings you to your practitioner on a regular basis. I know from my own patients and my mother’s experience that things can happen quickly in healthcare settings, which often makes it confusing. You can make it fun and go out to lunch afterwards or have a cup of tea at a café. After all, we are pack animals, and it often feels better when we’re in it together.